Being a nerd is almost cool

Here is a chain mail I got in 2000 which will tell you if you are "Addicted to AOL", or as we now say: are a nerd. Well, according to this list, being a nerd is now a lot more popular. Red comment are mine, blue highlight shows things which are now common/not rediculous anymore.

You Might be Addicted to AOL if...

  • Tech Support calls You for help.
  • Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL
  • You watch T.V. with the closed cationing turned on
  • You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other
  • You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out"
  • Three words: Carpal tunnel syndrome
  • You want to meet a girl/guy and your first impulse is to turn on your computer
  • you've ever gotten onto an airplane just to meet some folks face to face
  • you have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's
  • You have ever joined "Si habla Espanol"(spanish chat room) "just to work on my spanish"
  • you've ever typed "drinking on AOL is better than drinking alone"
  • you go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail letting everyone know you are going to be away
  • you have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it (hehehe)
  • you no longer type with proper punctuation, capitolization, or complete sentences...
  • you have met over 100 AOLers
  • you begin to say hehehe instead of laughing
  • when someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"
  • you find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is alseep
  • you turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you are on-line again
  • you know more about your AOL friends daily routines than you do your own spouses
  • you find yourself lying to others about your time on-line and when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook
  • you have an identity crisis if someone else is using an s/n close to your own
    (what if someone spoofed you on facebook?)
  • you would rather tell people your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much instead of the truth (all night on-line)
  • you change s/n's so much that you have to get your profile to see who you are
  • you're broke, your modem burns out and you go out onto the streets to sell your body to get a new one
  • you open your home to 15 strangers for a week merely because they have computers and cool s/n's
    (digg meetups, xkcd meetups, amazon kindle meetups, ...)
  • your kids are standing at your side saying "mommy, please come cook dinner" and you would rather type another "LOL"
  • you marry your cyberboyfriend and you both sit at your won computers and chat to each other every night from across the room
  • you type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time
  • you won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved
  • your dog leaves you
  • you have to ask what year it is
  • you are doing things more and more that you swore you would never, ever do when you first found chat
  • you write a letter like this..."dear tom, hiyas! how r u doin well gotta go bbl!"
  • you name your pets after people you talk to
  • you smile sideways
  • you sign on and immediately get 10 messages from people who have you on their buddy lists
    (note: back in 2000, there was no "invisible mode")
  • you have a map on the wall with red thumbtacks to mark where people you have met are
  • you look at an annoying person off-line and wish you had your ignore button handy
  • you bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the puter
    (that's computer, FYI)
  • your significant other kisses your neck while you are chating and you think "uh oh cyber sex pervo"
  • you have withdrawls if you are away from the puter for more than a few hour
    (yes, your iphone counts too!)
  • you use AOL lingo in everyday life (if you still have one...hehehe)
  • you take a speed reading course to keep up with the scrolling
  • your buddy list has over 100 people on it
  • your worst comeback to a bully is "I'll slap you with a rubber chicken."
  • you wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get on-line before you have your first cup of coffee
  • you have to inject no-doze into your butt to keep it awake
  • you have your puter set up so that it goes directly into AOL's welcome screen
  • you wait 6 hours online for a certain "special" person to come home from work
  • you don't know where the time has gone
  • you end sentances with three(or more) periods while writing letters in pen/pencil
  • your relationship online has gone farther than any real one you have had
  • you get up at 2am to go the bathroom but go turn on your puter
  • you spell things outloud instead of actually saying the word
  • you don't even notice anymore when someone has a typo
  • when you enter a room and 23 people greet you with {{{Hugs}}} or ***Kisses***
  • you stop typing whole words and use things like ppl, dunno and lemme
  • your voicemail/answering machine message is "BRB, leave your s/n and I will TTYL"
  • you type faster than you think
  • you got your psychiatrist addicted on AOL too and are now undergoing therapy in private rooms instead of at his office
  • you want to be burried with your computer when it dies...or vice versa
  • you actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted
  • you can actually read and follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up your tv-screen at the end of a movie
  • people say, if it weren't for your super reflexes in your eyes and fingers, you would have long been classified as a vegetable
  • you dream in text
  • being called a newbie is a MAJOR insult
  • there is absolutely no interesting chat any room and you are really bored....yet
  • you don't want to leave incase you miss something
  • you double click your tv remote
  • you can now type over 70 wpm
  • you think about starting a 12 step recovery group for AOL junkies
  • you are on the phone for a minute and need to do something else you say "BRB" or "BBL
  • you check your e-mail and forget you have real mail aka snail mail
  • you go into withdrawls during dinner
  • you spend at least 30 minutes making sure you say goodbye to everyone in a room
  • you stop speaking in full sentances
  • you have gone into an unstaffed tech support room and ended up "giving" tech support to other AOLers
  • you have to be pried from your computer with the Jaws-of-Life
  • your last sexual experience was really just a "textual" experience
  • you set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted to "check your mail" and while you were there you "just wanted to see who's on"
  • you meet people from AOL in public and have no idea what their real name is, so you call them by their s/n


Unknown said…

Popular posts from this blog

Nontechnical: What is ERC-721?

I Was Kidnapped in Manila and Lived to Tell About it

Testing deployed Ethereum contracts with ESTIMATEGAS