Being a nerd is almost cool

Here is a chain mail I got in 2000 which will tell you if you are "Addicted to AOL", or as we now say: are a nerd. Well, according to this list, being a nerd is now a lot more popular. Red comment are mine, blue highlight shows things which are now common/not rediculous anymore.

You Might be Addicted to AOL if...

• Tech Support calls You for help.
• Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL
• You watch T.V. with the closed cationing turned on
• You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other
• You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out"
  
• Three words: Carpal tunnel syndrome
• You want to meet a girl/guy and your first impulse is to turn on your computer
• you've ever gotten onto an airplane just to meet some folks face to face
• you have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's
• You have ever joined "Si habla Espanol"(spanish chat room) "just to work on my spanish"
• you've ever typed "drinking on AOL is better than drinking alone"
• you go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail letting everyone know you are going to be away
  (twitter)
  
• you have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it (hehehe)
• you no longer type with proper punctuation, capitolization, or complete sentences...
• you have met over 100 AOLers
• you begin to say hehehe instead of laughing
• when someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"
• you find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is alseep
• you turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you are on-line again
• you know more about your AOL friends daily routines than you do your own spouses
• you find yourself lying to others about your time on-line and when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook
• you have an identity crisis if someone else is using an s/n close to your own
  (what if someone spoofed you on facebook?)
  
• you would rather tell people your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much instead of the truth (all night on-line)
• you change s/n's so much that you have to get your profile to see who you are
• you're broke, your modem burns out and you go out onto the streets to sell your body to get a new one
  
• you open your home to 15 strangers for a week merely because they have computers and cool s/n's
  (digg meetups, xkcd meetups, amazon kindle meetups, ...)
  
• your kids are standing at your side saying "mommy, please come cook dinner" and you would rather type another "LOL"
• you marry your cyberboyfriend and you both sit at your won computers and chat to each other every night from across the room
  (eharmony.com)
  
• you type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time
• you won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved
• your dog leaves you
• you have to ask what year it is
• you are doing things more and more that you swore you would never, ever do when you first found chat
• you write a letter like this..."dear tom, hiyas! how r u doin well gotta go bbl!"
• you name your pets after people you talk to
• you smile sideways
• you sign on and immediately get 10 messages from people who have you on their buddy lists
  (note: back in 2000, there was no "invisible mode")
  
• you have a map on the wall with red thumbtacks to mark where people you have met are
• you look at an annoying person off-line and wish you had your ignore button handy
• you bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the puter
  (that's computer, FYI)
  
• your significant other kisses your neck while you are chating and you think "uh oh cyber sex pervo"
• you have withdrawls if you are away from the puter for more than a few hour
  (yes, your iphone counts too!)
  
• you use AOL lingo in everyday life (if you still have one...hehehe)
• you take a speed reading course to keep up with the scrolling
• your buddy list has over 100 people on it
• your worst comeback to a bully is "I'll slap you with a rubber chicken."
• you wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get on-line before you have your first cup of coffee
• you have to inject no-doze into your butt to keep it awake
• you have your puter set up so that it goes directly into AOL's welcome screen
• you wait 6 hours online for a certain "special" person to come home from work
• you don't know where the time has gone
• you end sentances with three(or more) periods while writing letters in pen/pencil
• your relationship online has gone farther than any real one you have had
• you get up at 2am to go the bathroom but go turn on your puter
• you spell things outloud instead of actually saying the word
• you don't even notice anymore when someone has a typo
• when you enter a room and 23 people greet you with {{{Hugs}}} or ***Kisses***
• you stop typing whole words and use things like ppl, dunno and lemme
• your voicemail/answering machine message is "BRB, leave your s/n and I will TTYL"
• you type faster than you think
• you got your psychiatrist addicted on AOL too and are now undergoing therapy in private rooms instead of at his office
• you want to be burried with your computer when it dies...or vice versa
• you actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted
• you can actually read and follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up your tv-screen at the end of a movie
• people say, if it weren't for your super reflexes in your eyes and fingers, you would have long been classified as a vegetable
• you dream in text
• being called a newbie is a MAJOR insult
• there is absolutely no interesting chat any room and you are really bored....yet
• you don't want to leave incase you miss something
• you double click your tv remote
• you can now type over 70 wpm
• you think about starting a 12 step recovery group for AOL junkies
• you are on the phone for a minute and need to do something else you say "BRB" or "BBL
• you check your e-mail and forget you have real mail aka snail mail
• you go into withdrawls during dinner
• you spend at least 30 minutes making sure you say goodbye to everyone in a room
• you stop speaking in full sentances
• you have gone into an unstaffed tech support room and ended up "giving" tech support to other AOLers
• you have to be pried from your computer with the Jaws-of-Life
• your last sexual experience was really just a "textual" experience
• you set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted to "check your mail" and while you were there you "just wanted to see who's on"
• you meet people from AOL in public and have no idea what their real name is, so you call them by their s/n